12.12.04
and hast thou slain the jabberwock?
some artwork that was rejected from digitalart.org for reasons I cannot fathom. fuck em.
11.12.04
the list of things that mean you are a strange person
1. You enjoy killing people and lighting fires
2. You spend a lot of time thinking about what's going in inside empty rooms
3. You write "help me" on a piece of card and hold it up to your car's window whilst at traffic lights to see if anything happens.
4. You often find yourself wondering how your workmates would actually react if you stood on your chair and urinated on your workstation - screams or applause?
5. You ardently refuse to acknowledge the possibility that anyone who owns or aspires to own a Jeep Grand Cherokee is anything but a complete fucking idiot.
6. You can't understand why other people don't see the Jerry Springer Show as a clear sign of the end of the universe.
7. As a child you performed experimental transplant surgery on your soft toys, taking particular delight in swapping their hands and feet over.
8. On yearbooks, death-threats, birthday cards and petitions you sign your name as 'Shubb-Nigaurath, the Black Goat of the Woods with A Thousand Young'.
9. You collect disused items and carry on conversations with them that invariably end up in fully-fledged dish-throwing screaming matches.
10. You spend hours searching crime archives to see if anyone with the surname Kilpatrick has actually killed someone named Patrick.
2. You spend a lot of time thinking about what's going in inside empty rooms
3. You write "help me" on a piece of card and hold it up to your car's window whilst at traffic lights to see if anything happens.
4. You often find yourself wondering how your workmates would actually react if you stood on your chair and urinated on your workstation - screams or applause?
5. You ardently refuse to acknowledge the possibility that anyone who owns or aspires to own a Jeep Grand Cherokee is anything but a complete fucking idiot.
6. You can't understand why other people don't see the Jerry Springer Show as a clear sign of the end of the universe.
7. As a child you performed experimental transplant surgery on your soft toys, taking particular delight in swapping their hands and feet over.
8. On yearbooks, death-threats, birthday cards and petitions you sign your name as 'Shubb-Nigaurath, the Black Goat of the Woods with A Thousand Young'.
9. You collect disused items and carry on conversations with them that invariably end up in fully-fledged dish-throwing screaming matches.
10. You spend hours searching crime archives to see if anyone with the surname Kilpatrick has actually killed someone named Patrick.
23.11.04
actual, real-life retard - ii
tonight as the tv spewed its usual atrocities at me, I found the room floating away from me, the corners dancing, the spaces shifting. the logo of the company I work for, WITHHELD, floating in front of me in space, monolithic and flat.
But it wasn't just a logo. I could see that now. It was an outline of something. A rabbit. A huge white rabbit. It spoke to me...
18.11.04
actual, real-life retard - i
Nov 18, 2004. It starts with the first problem i ever had with Warwick. Warwick is my Team Leader. Warwick assigns me duties. The other thing about Warwick is - he has Down's Syndrome. No shit. The real deal. Full-blooded retard.
This isn't the problem though. I don't mind having a retard for a boss - I'm used to it. No, the first problem stems mainly from the whole thing with Warwick and what he does in the toilets. See - thing is, he knows he is meant to go into the gents restroom if he wants to relieve himself.
He'd learnt that much.
Unfortunately, that's where his training ended. He just strides boldly into the gents and immediately lets fly in a joyous outpouring of excreta. An explosion of it. All over anything and everyone who happens to be in there with him.
I've just had to stop using the toilets at work altogether. These days I take to ducking into the stairwell for a quick smoke during our assigned rest breaks.
My job consists of the endless typing of numbers. Seemingly random. Their meaning is not known to me. Its not known to any of us.
continued
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