Shock Docs & Firefox

Fuck me, that rhymes. Ace much?

First off, I downloaded Firefox, so now I can do this and this and this. Naturally, I am ecstatic. Um, how you say...woot?

JESUS! Did anyone see Shock Docs last night? I found out it was going to be on about an hour beforehand, an hour that was then spent in eager anticipation - like a 6-year-old on Christmas Eve I was. That's gotta be the best show on tv, no doubt about it. It's the only show that is literally jaw-dropping. Last night's ep was about "Super Binge-Eating", and featured 3 "Super Morbidly Obese" people, one of whom died before they finished shooting. How cool is the phrase Super Morbidly Obese? I just wish they really did have super powers and were morbid. Turns out they're just REALLY FUCKING FAT. Mate, if you didn't see it, you just wouldn't understand just how fat these people were. Throw in an alarming amount of nudity, and close-ups of nude fat people so you have no way of knowing what body part you're looking at, add some alarmingly frank discussions about how these boombalatties have sex, chuck in some interviews with their freaky freaky spouses and you've got an hour of TV that you cannot turn your eyes from. I watched it so enraptured that afterwards I went out and bought all the products advertised in the breaks. Shock Docs, you've stolen my heart. The woman, Allannah I think it was, was the worst. Fucking chilling, the sight of her belly spilling across the bed like a pool of flesh-coloured molasses - and when they had to roll her over, and when they showed the helpers cleaning inside her deepest darkest places. Jesus. Jesus.

Why can't all TV be this disturbing? I know there's enough material out there.

One of them pie-hiders proposed to his wife by ordering a pizza with "I love you" written on it in pepperoni, and sending it to her at work for lunch (while he stayed at home, unable to stand up as he was). That's gold, Jerry, gold!

Another SMO person they mentioned, like the uber-SMO, get this - was SO fat, and spent SO long stuck on her couch unable to move, that SHE FUSED WITH THE COUCH. The paramedics could not get her off the couch, as her skin and the couch were now all part of the same thing. They took the couch-woman to hospital, where it died. When they moved the couchwoman (with a forklift, after knocking down the wall of the house), all that was left behind was a couch-shaped ring of piss, shit, and junk food wrappers. Awesome.

Just spent a couple of minutes looking for pix of last night's show. HANDY TIP: Don't search for Super Morbidly Obese in Google Images too soon after breakfast.