Bruce Willis has only just gotten a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame TODAY? WTF?
Die Hard came out, what, 19 years ago?
It was bad enough when he was totally overlooked for an Oscar for his amazing performance in Tears Of The Sun. The best thing about that movie is that it didn't contain any reference to any tears or any suns. I was fully expecting that when all hope appeared to be lost, one of the villagers would tell Bruce a folk tale that involved "tears of the sun". which would inspire Bruce to kill all the baddies. The folk tale would begin "In my village, there is a tale...". It never happened. Tears of the B-movie Appreciating Public might have been a better title.
Tears of the Sun: Cons.
The movie is actually quite sickening. Check out the timeline of events:
1. In reality, almost a million Rwandans are hacked to death with machetes. The rest of the world, forewarned by the UN observers in that country, do exactly fuck-all to stop it.
2. Some years later, Tears of the Sun is released. Its about a group of US soldiers who rescue african villagers from getting hacked to death with machetes. The whole "based on a true story" thing is conspicuously absent from promotional material. Maybe they should have gone with "based on what the US army was morally obliged to do, but didn't coz there's no goddamn oil in Rwanda". Ooh, political.
Tears of the Sun: Pros.
It has Bruce Willis in it. And you know what? If he had reprised the John McClane character for this role, I'd like it even more. And I'd like it even more still if the only explanation offered for why McClane was now serving with the marines in Africa was "for some reason, McClane is now a marine in Africa". I mean, let's face it - who gives a crap about exposition anyway? It's always clumsy and stupid. Replace it all with car chases I reckon.
Oh yeh, and it would have been even better if McClane had jumped off a waterfall, holding an African orphan in his arms, and as they fell, the orphan yelled "McClaaaa-aaa--aaane!", like Sam Jackson in Die Hard 3. That would have been awesome.
Bored? Who, me?
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